REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE,

 

                                      Plaintiff,                                    PLAINTIFF REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE

                                                                                        PETITION FOR INJUNCTIVE RELIEF OF USE OF

                        v.                                                              PLAINTIFF’S INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY BY RESPONDENT

 

OH GOD WHAT HATH WE WROUGHT

(d/b/a Donald Trump), et. al.,

 

                                      Respondents.

 

BACKGROUND

 

       Whereas, Plaintiff Republican National Committee (the Party of the Fucked Part) possesses sole ownership and rights to use of the fictional intellectual property known as Voter Fraud (hereafter referred to as Racist Bullshit);

       Whereas, Respondent Oh God What Hath We Wrought (the Party of the Pussy Grabbing Part) in the month of October of the year Two-Thousand and Sixteen did knowingly and repeatedly grab and appropriate the image and likeness of Voter Fraud;

       Whereas, Plaintiff proxy Rep. Paul Ryan, speaker of the United States House of Representatives, asserts he is “fully confident” of the reliability of the respective electoral systems of the many states of the United States of America[i], thereby acknowledging the total fucking made-up nature of Voter Fraud, a work of fiction authored by smirk-for-hire parties unknown but possibly including Lee Atwater; Karl Rove; unnamed other privileged frat-boys; nihilist fucks; et. al.;

       Whereas, Plaintiff created proprietary and ancillary works to Voter Fraud including but not limited to: Scary Black Guy at Polling Site; Possible Voting Muslim; The League of Black Panther White-Voter Assassins; Super-Compliant Woman Who Would Never Secretly Cancel Out Her Dipshit Husband’s Vote; and Multiple Voting Latinos Voting at Multiple Polling Sites;

       Whereas, Plaintiff created said intellectual property including and ancillary to Voter Fraud with intent and design for the sole commercial purpose of providing proximal cause for passage of bullshit legislation legally to inhibit, diminish, and otherwise fuckify voter turnout by parties including but not limited to young people, students, the blacks, illegals, the poors, et. al.;

       Whereas, Plaintiff TOTALLY bore no intention that said intellectual property EVER be utilized as proximal cause for violent and other extralegal measures to inhibit, diminish, and otherwise fuckify voter turnout by parties including but not limited to young people, students, the blacks, illegals, the poors, et. al.

 

ARGUMENT

 

       PLAINTIFF alleges that Respondent did with malice aforethought replicate and/or duplicate the Party of the Doomed Part’s variational representations of Voter Fraud to encourage and incite violent and other extralegal means to deny the voting rights of American citizens without Plaintiff’s permission and to unauthorized ends, like a jerk;

       RESPONDENT alleges that Respondent has at no time had anything resembling an aforethought in his afucking life.

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ORDER

 

       The Court hereby grants injunctive relief to the Party of the Doomed Part, for all the fucking good it will do them.

       The Party of the Pussy Grabbing Part must hereafter refrain from unauthorized use of Voter Fraud and like properties for any electoral or commercial enterprise, but probably won’t.

       The Party of the Doomed Part retains all rights to the use, image, and likeness of Voter Fraud and may, subsequent to November 8, Two-Thousand and Sixteen, resume portraying Voter Fraud as a non-fictional character in perpetuity.

       So ordered.

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[i]    See, Time.com’s “Paul Ryan Rejects Donald Trump’s Claims of ‘Rigged’ Election System,” and other contemporary accounts, which in toto ellide implications of counter-factuality re: the Republican Party’s own past claims of fucking voter fraud.